u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
