Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
