More tranny stories later!
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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