in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
