I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
worst night to have a conscience
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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