She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
