just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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