I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
