Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
