Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
