You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
