Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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