I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I am naked and annoyed.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
