My balls are so social today.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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