idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Found the puke drawer
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
