I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
