I think I just saw someone hide a body.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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