then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Holy sore nipples Batman
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
