I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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