fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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