i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
How does it feel to date your dad?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
