Pants 0. Shit 1.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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