the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
