OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
