her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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