Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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