I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
