it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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