Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
