No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
