ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
