i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Randomize
