I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
