His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
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