I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
