After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
