i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
