Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
