so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
