He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
