You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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