But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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