; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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