Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
