ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
