What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So many bounce houses so little time
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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