woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You have to summon your inner elephant
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
