Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize
