Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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