I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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