Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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