mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
