I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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